And then it struck me. How the twigs represented the problems in my life. For the past few years, moving to a new city, struggling to construct a career and life, I haven’t always been happy. I’ve seen the problems as so big and important that they mar the scene of the beach, the scene of my life. Yesterday standing there I realized, what if the twigs weren’t the focus? What if I could enjoy the scene and be grateful, and the twigs just receded into the background, there but not really that important? I realised that my problems were mostly things I worried about for the future, or issues related to my ego – was I successful enough, or making enough money, or achieving as much as I possibly could in every area of my life. They weren’t real. Not real like problems I have faced in the past, potentially not having a roof over one’s head, worried about income, safety. Real problems that people face everyday. I am so lucky that I don’t need to worry about that anymore. So why then am I still unable to feel safe, secure; why am I still struggling, in my head?
As I realised that I could choose, that even though I do need to take action and work hard, I don’t need to let the twigs mar my enjoyment of the sea, I relaxed. And I felt a huge weight lifted off. I know that I may not remember this every day, that some days trying to get everything done, and work on my long-term goals may feel overwhelming. But I hope I remember the feeling, of knowing that I can choose to let these issues recede to the background, even if for a moment, and regain that feeling of complete stillness and beauty. For that I am truly grateful.