I have been
reading Adam Grant’s latest book Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World, and found much of the research and
ideas profiled fascinating. One idea really leaped out at me though, and I
wanted to share it.
In a chapter
about parenting, Grant discusses the difference in the logic of consequences
versus the logic of appropriateness. The way I understood that is the logic of
consequences involves thinking about how taking a certain action will impact
you, or rather what is the consequences of taking some action. On the other
hand, logic of appropriateness means thinking about you - is this something appropriate
for me to do, would I do this?
And to me this
concept seemed revolutionary in changing how I think about certain things. Let
me explain.
If I decide
whether or not to write a blog post, I might think oh I always write a post on
Saturday. Or if I write a post, so many people will read it. Now if you’re
starting out and you don’t have ‘real’ consequences for not writing a post,
i.e. no one will write to you and complain, or not many people will read them,
you might think to yourself, why bother, I can skip it today. The same logic
goes for many things - I often think, oh today I might skip the gym, or I might
eat this brownie, because surely one day won’t matter.
And this kind
of thinking can be useful - for instance, most people go to work everyday
because if they don’t there will be consequences. Ditto for many other things
in our life. But for things that are optional, voluntary, thinking this way
might mean that most of the time the behavior we want to ensure happens, might
not happen.
But what if
you link the action to who you are as a person? For instance, I am the sort of
person who hates the idea of ever getting too drunk, or not being able to
handle my drink. In fact, I would rather not drink at all, than not be
completely in possession of my faculties. Which means many times I have turned
down drinks, even when they are free, because I see myself as a person who can
hold my drink, or as a person who doesn’t drink very often. To maintain my
self-image, I take certain actions. And it doesn’t matter how much I would love
another glass of wine, or whether others are drinking a lot more, or whatever.
No exceptions. (This isn’t an indictment of drinking, just an example).
Now what if I
were to apply this to other areas? If I go back to that blog post writing
example. If I were to think of myself as someone who writes blog posts, or
writes a post every Saturday, then I would, even if no one read it, or liked
it. If I thought of myself as someone who works out no matter what, I would hit
the gym even if I were tired. If I decided that I always eat healthy, or that I
was going to someone who doesn’t eat sugary foods, then I would decline the
brownie every time. You see how linking it to how you see yourself, how you
think of yourself, matters?
And how does
this apply to being an author? Simple. I often try to get myself to write, or
do other tasks writing-related, and sometimes when I don’t want to or put it
of, I try to scare myself with consequences. Turns out I would be much more
effective if instead I framed it as a question of the person I am. I am an
author, and an author writes, so I should write. Or I am the kind of person who
blogs every week, or wakes up early and writes 500 words first thing, or
whatever I am trying to get myself to do.
Changing the
logic or thinking from do this or else there will be consequences, which is no
fun and really ruins the experience of working on something that you’re
choosing to spend time on, to do this because this is the kind of person I am
is much less stressful and more effective I think. I never really have to
police my drinking, my subconscious does it for me. Or to see it another way -
I see myself as someone who reads voraciously. So when I find myself not making
time for it, or falling behind on my reading, I do whatever I can - stay up
late, read on the bus, cut out TV whatever - to maintain the self-image I have
of being a bookworm.
So if you’re
finding it hard to get your writing done (or painting, or designs, or whatever
creative endeavor), maybe the thing to do is frame it in terms of your
self-image, of who you are as a person.
